of Lailatul Qadr

When I was very young, I used to be a very coward child. I was easily getting scared out of nothing. To the extend, every time I happened to see strangers (especially adult males) passing by my house, I would run for my life inside the house looking for Mom. The strangers was outside the gate and I was inside a safely locked house, do I miss a point here? And Mom was like, "Huhhh! What's now?" Yeah. I was a spoiled brat -- who fretted a lot and constantly demanded for attentions.


One good day, in the month of Ramadhan, I heard people at school talking about Lailatul Qadr. And I remembered this one girl bragged to the other kids that she had experienced Lailatul Qadr in the previous year. "I woke up because the air was so cold and I took a peep through the window. I saw nothing because everything was flatten to the ground (maksudnya semua tengah sujud la). In fact, I could see the ocean from the window," she said.


At that particular moment, I totally had no idea what Lailatul Qadr is. Even the word Lailatul Qadr itself sounded strange to my ears. So I helped myself to figure out something out of the story. A part of it did make sense, because back then the place I lived was real close to the seashore. But the other part did not. I was like, "Takkan la rumah jiran jiran dia pun sujud jugak. Abes la penyek orang dalam rumah tu."


But I dared not to provoke her (though I really wanted to) because the other kids was listening so faithfully -- and their faces told me that story was believe-able and trust-able. I taught myself a life-long valuable lesson as early as I was 7: Whenever you did not have your minions with you, do not be so loud. Or else you will end up being at the miserable-loser-side.


Later at night, when I was home, I asked Mom about Lailatul Qadr, to which Mom answered:


"Lailatul Qadr is a blessed night in Ramadhan where all the angles descend to earth -- visiting the faithful believers who constantly wake up at night to repent and seek the forgiveness from ALLAH SWT. Whoever wakes up and does prayer during that night, the reward is equal to those prayers he does in 1000 other months."


In my mind I started imagining about the angles. I pictured them wearing fulsome white clothes, with so fair and bright faces you cannot see the exact feature of the face because it somehow glows brightly from inside. The physical was big enough to occupy the whole panel of the door and tall enough to walk through the door. PARDON MY CHILDISH IMAGINATION. And so I said:

"Will they come and visit our house too? They are scary!"

"Yes, they will. Only if you have been a good servant of ALLAH and do good to other people. The angles are not going to scare you. They come with blessings."

"When is Lailatul Qadr?"

"Any night, starting from tonight. No one knows the exact date."


... ... ... *insert LIGHTNING, THUNDER, and STORM in the scene*


Guess who was the freaking coward girl -- terrified by her own underdeveloped imagination? Going to the bathroom alone had been the most adventurous and longest journey since. Every night I had to pray, "Please ALLAH, not tonight. I don't want to see the angles. Please send them down at the night which I don't feel like going to the toilet and, don't wake me up to see them." (Ya Rabbi, ada jugak orang yang doa macam ni? Rasa macam nak tenggelamkan dalam tempayan!)


When I was in the kitchen alone, I always had this feel that the angle (appearance was as the same when I first imagined them) was eyeing me from the corner where washing machine was placed. Thus I had to always force someone to accompany me going anywhere in the house, especially at night. At times, Dad caught me running with fearful face in the house and he asked:

"What's the matter?"

"I am scared."

"Of what?"

"Lailatul Qadr."

And he laughed so loud at the sheer-foolishness choice of words. That was the first time he caught me, next time ...

"Why are you running in the house?"

"I am scared."

"Of what?"

"Lailatul Qadr."

"Not funny. I told you not to run in the house, right? Run one more time, and you know what you will get!!!"

Haihhh. =.=" Being a coward child with wild imagination was not easy at all. Especially when your sister was not big enough to accompany you everywhere. And ... it was even harder when she got accompanied all the time, while you had to sort out your own way; how not to be left unattended by the parents without being labeled as an attention seeker. Haha.


But that was the story more than a decade ago. Now, I am a lot more braver. At least I think I am. Hehe. And more importantly, I am now waiting and looking forward to Lailatul Qadr. Tonight marks the last night of the second phase. Oh wait, I hear the sound of rain outside. Let me check ... ... ... Yeah, it is raining here people! RAIN!  :) How can I not to love this moment? What a blessed night! 


Okay. So tomorrow is the beginning of the last phase of Ramadhan. Time flies so fast. I don't know what exactly I feel at the moment. Anyway, let us work hard at these last 10 nights of Ramadhan. Grab the opportunity to achieve Mardhotillah -- not to mention the opportunities to gain extra profit for your account in aakhirah.


By the way, throughout this Ramadhan, I keep asking ALLAH for three things in my prayer. I mean three worldly-and-kind-of-materialistic-thing. I've got to be kidding myself, I know. But I really hope that HE will grant my wish. I want them so bad. 


"Hahaha. Do you think you are asking them from Santa?" said my sister. Yeah, when I said 'three things' I really meant it. They are things. Materials. No no, not toys, of course.


That's the story of my life.


All right. Semoga kita semua diberi kesempatan dan keizinan oleh ALLAH SWT untuk beribadah pada malam alQadr. :) Selamat melalui hari hari akhir Ramadhan dengan istiqamah.