It's just all the sights and sounds, and all the organized items, and all the various brands of products, make me so deliriously happy. And I like touching all the items, picking them up, examining each and every single one, surprisingly shocked by the price, and finally putting them down.
Oh, actually there are a lot more things I fancy about the grocery stores.
--1) I take a long whiffs at the push-pop candy. Something about it just bring back the childhood memories of mine. And I would do that to the bubblegums also. I find this behaviour rather defeatist of me because they are wrapped so tightly. I can't possibly smell anything.
--2) I scan random items at the scanning machine even I know what the price is. I just pick up the nearest item and wave it in front of the machine. Just so, I can hear 'teet' and look at the red laser beam running its streaky line across the items. Oh! Euphoric!
--3) I arrange oranges, apples and other fruits, because it peeves me that they are not arranged properly. No, I am not getting any payment for it. But, come on people! It is not in the pyramidal form.
--4) I press the meat. And get mad when other aunties press the meat. But for the record, I do not press them grossly, I press them gently and leave them very unscathed. Okay okay, I am sorry. But, I cannot promise I will not do that again.
--5) I pick up almost every item and put on a quizzical, curious and interested face. Even I know that I will not buy it, but I am really curious. And I know the person next to me will look at me with a what's-wrong-with-her written on face.
--6) I read almost everything on the container or plastic of the items I have picked up. Especially the nutritional facts and ingredient.
--7) I want to buy almost everything, because they are all so attractive. Especially those things from the Cold Storage.
--8) I love the junk food lane, because it is the most colourful. All those silvery, shiny wrappings. Aesthetics!
--9) I love fresh vegetables section, because they are all green, and red, and orange. They are so bright in colours. It makes me feel so healthy and it makes me secretly wish to become a vegetarian one day.
--10) I love to smell fruits too (as if I know what I am doing). Especially when there are uncles and aunties around, because I look like an expert doing so. And when they smell the fruits too, I know they are just copying what I do.
--11) I observe people around me and when I find anyone who looks a bit weird, I will say to my sister, "There's another abused child." Only to my sister, yes. If she is not around, I will just keep that to myself.
--12) When I see an abandoned-looking guy, I will tap my sister on the shoulder and whisper, "Hey, that's your new boyfriend." And she will go, "Yeah ... and that's your new boyfriend." pointing at the damaged-looking guy (okay, may be he is not as damaged as he might appear).
--13) And sometimes we pretend that we are neighbours, or colleagues, or anything but family. The scene always: we accidentally run into each other and ask, "Hey, where's your husband?" Length of the role play depends on how soon we sense the danger of being caught by mom or dad. Usually, it lasts only 2 minutes.
--14) When I see a baby, I will look at the baby until our eyes meet, and I will simply smile and frantically wave my hand at the baby. I don't care whether or not the parents *notice what I am doing to their child.
*Last time at the Carrefour, I did that to a Chinese baby. The parents kind of noticed what I was doing and the mom said to the baby, "Say hi to auntie ... ". Auntie? Hey! I mean ... HEY! Do I really look like one? Sheesh! But, if you are reading this, I would like to say that your baby is so damn cute, and it was so friendly of you (and your husband) that evening. But still, I cannot afford of being an auntie for your baby.
--15) I love it when the cashier has the conveyor belt thing. Then I imagine myself being a cashier and playing with the ka-ching drawer. Producing the tak-tak-tak sounds from the keyboard and counting the money.
Now, if you know what I am talking about, then wow! you are really my friend. Yeah, babeh! You know what I am talking about, so we just can blend in together.