December 12, 2010

feels like this

A dream in a dream in a dream. 
That is what life feels right now. 
Everything feels surreals. 
Everything feels almost movie-like.

Final exam, and everything it brought with it, was the first dream.

Last day of exam, five hour ride to home, going to grandma place, seeing the most breath-taking view of the village and the huge green paddy field bordered by blue horizontal line of the sky at the edge of the land. That was the second dream.

The third dream, was actually the sorrow and dark feeling of saying goodbye. To be honest, it does not really feel like I was leaving for Kuantan. It feels like I was about to go away to one of those refugee camps in a faraway land.

I already felt sad the moment our car moved away from the house. It was even more sad when I had to say goodbye to my sister at her school. And the feeling became much more unbearable when it was time to bid goodbye to everybody.

This morning, I woke up and realized, here I am, in a real solid room of my friend on campus. The feeling is as familiar as it usually was. But I can feel that I miss home much more than before -- because of all those dreams, I suppose.

It is not an interesting feeling.

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A month of holiday.

Update #1.

My computer was broken and was sent to the workshop last week. The most frustrating part was, I lost all the folders (which worth a whole 3 years of hardworking works) I saved in the computer. Frust. Taknaksaveapaapadalamlaptoplagi! -tantrums-

Update #2.

I visited Melaka Maju 2010. We went to the planetarium there. It was so unbelievable that the tricks in the theater also worked on a mature girl like me. I mean, I could understand if it worked on my seven-year-old brother. But, on me? -shakes head-

I had to keep on telling myself that it was not me, nor did the theater, which was moving. For heaven's sake, that was just the motion-picture tried to fool us (I mean, me). Other than that, the planetarium in Melaka was not really an interesting place for uh ... ehem ... mature girl.

Update #3.

I baked my own cake. That is how it goes with me -- every once in a while, I crave something a little more technical, something I can give myself a big pat on the back. Now, I am pleased to report, dad pronounced it as the best chocolate cake baked by an amateur (?). And this man is known not to have any fondness to any kind of hyperbole. Nakbuatcaketiaptiapharilahmacamni. -happy-

Update #4.

Done reading all the pending novels. But I save the best one to be read later. Save the best for last, ain't it? Done reading one of Amr Khalid's books too. And still on my way finishing Men Around the Messenger -- the first chapter I read was the chapter about Mus'ab bin Umair. It was irresistible.  

Update #5.

I went to my cousin's wedding reception in JB. Dear Shahril, I have something to say on behalf of all the other cousins: Cepat lah dapat baby! Haha. Oh, and I met someone annoying there! I will save the story for another full-long-entry. Be patient, all right? (bajet ada orang nak baca je)

Update #6.

Girl 1 :
Life is unfair. :(
Me :
Why? *concerned face*
Girl 1 :
Everybody who stays under the same roof with mom can grow fat. What does she feed you?
Me :
Nothing special. Really.
Girl 1 :
Owh really? But you have gained a few pounds, do you realize that?
Me :
Girl 1 :
Yeah, I was not lying. *very straight face*

Mom :
Don't make that face.
Me :
What? I am not making face.
Mom :
Oh. You look like ... hmm ... something. *giggles*
Me :
Like what?
Mom :
Chipmunks. *giggles giggles giggles*
Me :
Yeah. I know I am that cute. What can I say ...
Mom :
I'm not comparing the cuteness. I'm talking about the size of your cheeks.

So, yeah ... I think I have gained a few pounds (if not a few kgs).

End of updates.
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And life at this moment also feels like this. Hmm ... how should I say this? Well ... have you ever had the feel of constantly thinking of some people? And they are constantly, without fail, being in your mind? You miss them even when you are talking to them on the phone. And you miss them even more when you said bye a second ago. I feel that now.


I am sick.


  1. manja!!!!!

    like update #2,nk kek sket :)))

  2. to anonymous:
    Who cares? Nak cake? Dah selamat kena digest. Semua compound dah jadi monomer dah pun.


. snape's potion class : in memories . :'(

. dumbledore's army .