special edition

I am back on track now, insyaALLAH.


To be honest, there were quite a number of times when the thoughts of deleting this blog came to mind. Especially those days when I was in dilemma of letting my insights go public. And, of course, when I realized that things I wrote here were not the things I actually do. You know, all those tazkirah-related posts, though they were not that many.


Why was I always in that dilemma?


1).
I am afraid of causing confusion and misunderstandings about Islam for, truthfully and honestly, I am not as equipped with enough knowledge. I wrote based on what I read, what I heard, and what I think. Mostly what I think.


2).
Most of the time, I wrote about personal stuff -- an expression of current immaturity when I followed emotions a little bit too much. In most cases, I actually overreacted. That is probably a well-known fact to you if you know me in real life too.


When I first started this blog, I just wrote everything I had on mind. They ranged from personal issues to national issues, from sharing extreme opinions to spilling emotions, from open Ramadhan greetings to personal birthday greetings. No space was left to doubt about anything because, back then, the readers were among family members and a few real close friends.


But now, the audience come from various backgrounds. The traffics come from strange sources -- some of them linked me on their sites. I even have some I-cannot-figure-out-where-they-are-coming-from-and-how-on-earth-could-they-find-my-blog people as followers -- which keeps me wondering why because I cannot tell what are the things they are expecting from my next entry.


Don't tell me they are following just because they want me to follow them back! If that is the case, I am so sorry then. I think the notion 'I follow you, you follow me back' is ridiculous. And that is another separated issue to talk about. Do spend me an hour of lecture for that topic.


I know a few not-so-close classmates (and college-mates) who keep on checking updates here. I know a few people who have this blog bookmarked. I know a few silent readers who left this blog untraced by me, neither by the stats. And I know a few stalkers who give their undivided attentions to me. <-- Malu tak bagi statement macam ni? Malu kan? =.="


Okay. Paragraph di atas adalah paragraph orang perasan dan ayat yang last sekali adalah highlight kepada semua ayat ayat perasan dalam paragraph tersebut. Sekian. Harap maklum.


So. Due to the consciousness (more to perasan-ness to be exact) of having large demographic scale of readers, I found it necessary to have all the entries filtered. Only those which I deem suitable for all types of audience will be published. Sadly however, upon analyzing all the contents posted, I came to realize that most of them were (and still are) good for nothing.


EMBARRASSING! Is it not? 


Yeah. I actually have thought of privatizing it too. But what is the purpose of writing on blog when it goes private, isn't it? Hehe.


So people! Since this is my 100th entry (after 2 years, what a shame!). And it is not something worth mentioning about, I know. Coming to this point, however, I think it is already time for me to do some serious reflections before a lot more posts or entries coming afterwards.


Evaluation parameters:

1). Are you able to provide this post with clearly defined aims and objectives?

[Yes] Good. Please proceed to the next question.

[No] Stop here and delete the draft.

2). Is there any personal interest of yours which leads you to proceed with the topic?

[Yes] Clarify to yourself. Do not proceed until you are done with your inner conflict.

[No] Also clarify to yourself about your intention.

3). Do you think this post will benefit the people who read it?

[Yes] To what extend?

[No] Do not proceed because this is just as meaningless.

4). Most importantly, do you think ALLAH SWT will be pleased with what you do and do you think it is qualified to be counted as a good 'amal?

Do reflect from within. Answer and judge yourself. Make your own wise decision. 

Why do I have to jot all these things down? So that every time I want to write something, this post will remind me of what I wish to change and will, hopefully, always keep me right on track.




"Jom kita berlari mendapatkan ALLAH. Kalau tak dapat lari, takpe ... jom kita sama sama merangkak, kemudian berjalan, dan seterusnya berlari ke arah itu." -Quote daripada sape ntah, tak ingat dah-




Oh, about writing things which I do not practice ... I will be more careful from now on. InsyaALLAH.