Note : Read at your own risk. The author is not liable to any occurrence of sudden hypertension or myocardiac infarction after reading the passage.
PHARMACISTS rhymes with NARCISSISTS !!!
My life, is an anthill. And in those anthills, there are many ants. Of those ants, many are pharmacists. And pharmacists are awesome people. They are the bespectacled boys and girls behind the white clinical tables dispensing drugs and medicines. The nerds.
But, hold up! What did you just read? What was the line you have just read which announces about their earth-shaking, meteorite-smashing, cosmos-decimating, cool-beans status?
THEY DISPENSE DRUGS!
Not that it is right, legal, or admirable to dispense drugs to the street -- in fact, in some countries, drug possession carries the death sentence. But they do it legally, intelligently, and stylishly.
Think about those illegal drug distributors. What you have in mind? Life of a crack dealing, pierce wearing, self tattooing, enhanced hustler, quick money maker, etc etc. Now, imagine all the glamour, but without all the violent and disgusting characters. What you have is a pharmacist.
Being surrounded by them. It leads me to inevitably learn about them.
While I am reading magazines and tabloids, they are reading the books which are thicker than a phone book directories.
They are studying all the time. Wouldn't you, if you have a word like pogliotinkiolinkoniosycolisis to memorize?
The average pharmacist is probably some psycho smart guys who normally got all A's just by swallowing all the letters in the text book.
They are the experts in all areas. Chemistry (especially), Biology, Mathematics, and even Physics. When the lecturer asks you to calculate something, the moment you've just switched on your calculator, someone has already replied, "Ma'am, the answer is o.o25M."
They remember the atomic weight of all the basic elements in periodic table by heart. Yeah, BY HEART. No kidding.
They can stay up way too late. They can even constantly have only 2 hours sleep per day for the entire academic semester. Impressive. Totally impressive.
They have been trained in the art of never being negative. Even with the entire Malaysian curriculum crashing around them, they will still wear a steeled smile while screaming faux vulgarities at their text book. Hilarious.
Need an entertainment? Watch a pharmacist stress out before exam. Or even quiz. Unendingly funny.
They wear cool t-shirts with phrases like :
Saving the world : only one Panadol at a time.
They are sometimes crazy. I had a pharmacist charged on me. Yell hello in my ear and run off in a peculiar way.
They possess drugs. At least they must have handy paracetamol tablets. At least. Because I once saw this pharmacist kept the pessaries in her handbag. Feel free to meet them when you are not feeling well.
And the most important thing ... they study during the holiday, they make sure they have completed all the assignment before Hari Raya, and they constantly ask questions.
They are the pharmacists. I am NOT.
I am JUST an undergraduate.
I read magazines, tabloids, and novels during my pastime. I take short nap during the gap between classes.
I study when ... it is necessary? And I do not memorize alien words. They are scary.
I am not a psycho. Nor that am I smart.
I am just an average learner (in layman terms, not in pharmacist terms). I take 5 minutes to absorb the question. Another 5 minutes to digest it. Another 5 minutes to ponder upon it. Another 5 minutes to press the calculator. And another 5 minutes to get the answer.
I know to which group do those basic elements belong to. Is that not enough? Oh. But but but ... I know H=1, C=12, O=16. Okay la kan?
I have to sleep before 12. And at least 6 hours daily. Insufficient sleep by half an hour a day will shorten my life span to about 11 - 12 months. So, just imagine what will happen if I just sleep 2 hours daily.
I am easily collapsed. Even without the entire Malaysian curriculum crashing around me.
I hate to stress out before exam. It will destroy all my synapse connections.
My t-shirt is written :
Beware : These hazel eyes might break your heart.
I am not crazy. I treat people in a decent, normal way.
I do not keep paracetamol tablet in my room. I just possess vitamin C tablet, vitamin B complex tablet, and lozenges. Those who suffer from unbalanced diet; low in vitamin B and vitamin C can see me. I am happy to hospitalize you.
And the most important thing for me is ... holiday is holiday. Come on people! Are you human like me? Or do you happen to come from another planet?
I got a phone call asking about the assignment the very first day I was at home. Yeah, it was my first day of holiday and they already bugged me with all the academic stuffs. Later at night I got another call. Another question raised regarding the assignment. The next morning another call. Asking for opinions and suggestions. Oh please ... give me a break. I'll let you know once I start doing the assignment. Okay?
I wish I could say more. A pharmacist is sort of like Tango. You know their quirks, and their zany dances, but they still remain a mysterious lot. I will probably be writing more on them after an adventure (or two) of trying to discover their fascinating tendencies. But for now, till here. See ya!