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I will not be chasing anymore. Because at this point, my strength to run ends here. I am done trying to get one's attention, when getting Allah's attention should have been my first priority since the very beginning.


Why didn't I become conscious of this earlier? But knowing this, I have finally realized, Allah has chosen me among those who are blessed. And therefore, I am eternally grateful.

Oh Most Merciful,

Forgive me and the people I love.

Save me and the people I love.

Protect me and the people I love.

Shelter me and the people I love.

Don't abandon me and the people I love.

Please bring us together into Your paradise.

Oh Allah, I rise up in the morning with the blessing, strength, and protection, all of which You have bestowed upon me. Complete Your blessing, the strength (You bestowed upon me), and Your protection for me in this life and the hereafter.

Oh Allah, words have left me. Things I am, and I will be, yearning from You are beyond words and expressions. Therefore, do not leave me on my own. Because even if You leave with all the world and its content, I am still so helpless without You.

Oh Allah, thank you for all the blessings. 

Alhamdulillah. :)

tagged

By Sarah Syahirah. :)

1). Kenapa online hari hari? Takde kerja ke?

Haha. Sarah ni macam my mom la. Ada kerja momma, kejap lagi saya siapkan. :)

2). Apakah web web yang telah anda sign up dekat internet ni?

Tumblr. Baru sign up semalam. Nampak sangat takde kerja kan? Adeh. =.='

3). Apakah medium yang anda gunakan untuk online?

Laptop. Desktop. Kadang kadang handphone. Kadang kadang je la, saya kan tengah miskin ni. Haha.

4). Anda tak boring ke online?

Boring jugak. Tapi nak buat macam mana, desperate.

5). Aktiviti harian?

Tengok Nina. Comel tau. :)

6). Apakah yang menganggu fikiran anda sekarang?

Ramai sangat orang pakai nama Seth Tan (or letak Tan as surname) dekat Facebook sekarang. Annoying la. Nasib baik bukan kawan saya, kalau tak saya dah remove dah.

7). Adakah anda fikir survey ini dalam Bahasa Inggeris pada awalnya?

Mula mula saya ingat nak translate semua soalan dalam English, tiba tiba nampak soalan ni pulak. So tak jadilah. Jawapan untuk soalan ini, TIDAK.

8). Anda rasa penguasaan Bahasa Inggeris anda cukup untuk menjawab survey ini dalam Bahasa Inggeris?

Kenapa tanya macam tu? Ni yang nak touching dengan Sarah ni. Hehe.

9). Apakah pendapat awak pasal penyekatan kerajaan terhadap beberapa web yang menjadi isu sekarang?

Kerajaan tengah rasa terancam tu. Biarlah dia nak buat perangai budak budak. Malas nak emo emo dah. Buat penat je.

10). Adakah anda pandai memasak?

Tak pandai la. Hehe.

11). Kali terakhir anda berbelanja besar? Untuk apa?

Sem lepas. Rahsia la, buat apa nak bagitau.

12). Things you are looking forward to?

Eh? Kenapa tukar English pulak? Haha. I am looking forward to the next part of The Deathly Hallow. Who's with me?

13). Things you want to buy right now?

Boeing 737-800s. Anyone? Please~

14). Things you want to eat right now?

Cheesy wedges. With a lot of cheese and no bulky potato.

15). Short term planning? Why?

Saving an amount of money. So that once I have graduated, I can afford the deposit of a semi D house. You wish aisyah!

16). Status? Why?

Offline -- insecure internet connection.

17). If you can have a pet, what will it be?

Penguin. Or dolphin.

18). You get one wish, what will it be?

May all the knowledge and wisdom we gained, drive us to seeking more Guidance from Allah. And thus, bring us closer and closer to Him. :)

19). You need money, mom or dad?

DADDY.

20). If you could have another sibling, what would it be?

You mean, the gender? GIRL. Because girls are fancy. Haha.

21). Any planning?

Plan of what? Having baby? Hahaha. NO.

22). You get a second wish, what is your command?

I wish to command the politicians to stop playing fool. It is not funny, man!

23). Last question, what song do you like?

At this particular time, I like Cuba -- Aidil. Ask me again later and the answer will be different. 

TAG. YOU are at it!

marine biology

Shame on me. Due to irrelevant content of this post, I might remove it later. Or might not.


Hello people. My name is aisyah. And my favourite colour is blue. I love blue because it is so tranquil and refreshing. Some people might hate my blog because I designed it in blue. You see, once I started to colour with blue, all of the features -- title, links, and boxes, all of them will be blue. I wanted to avoid unfortunate things -- I did not want people to hate blue just because of my all-blue blog. But I never succeed.


Hello people. My name is aisyah. And I love everything with blue. Once I saw people wearing blue, I was so jealous! Never mind. When I was in high school, I had a blue pencil case. The worst thing is, everything inside the pencil case was blue in colour. Pencils, erasers, pens, sharperner, and even ruler. I was more than excited when the school asked the girls to use blue bedspread and blanket when I was in form 5.


Hello people. My name is aisyah. And I am so much in love with blue. I love the view from my window because the building opposite to my room is painted blue. I chose Celcom over Maxis because Celcom's theme colour inspired me (apakah jenis statement?). I once wished to pursue studies in Marine Biology. I love it most when the sky is bright and blue. Just like this morning. :)


Hello people. My name is aisyah. And today, I explored a website describing about people with blue personality, and here we go!


BLUE.


Blue is an emotional colour. Blue stay inside themselves and do not trust people very much. They watch every move others make. Pale shades of blue show someone who wants everything in order. Their closet is immaculate. As blue moves to the deeper end of colour, it becomes more moody and shows it.


People who prefer this colour usually use their emotions to make decisions. They are also very affected by the moods of those around them. They sometimes expect you to feel down whenever they are. Showing sign of co-dependency, they need you to be by their side, experiencing their feeling.


Oh, wow! Funya funya.


Okay, let me start this again.


Hello people. My name is aisyah. And I love GREEEEEENNN! I love to eat vegetables. A lot. And I love to see them in my plate. They have crunchy and tender textures. I like them so much! I must eat them everyday. Or else, I would rather die. And today, I explored a website describing about people with green personality, and here we go!


GREEN.


Green is the colour of healing. Green wants to help everyone. These people can usually be found in medical profession or some occupations which help people. Preferring to watch rather than to become involved in others business, they usually keep their thoughts secret. Others see them as good listeners because of this quality. This characteristic makes them wonderful counselors.


Greens make others feel at home in their house by putting them at ease immediately. They try to take care of others and they want harmony in every one's life. Greens make the best of friends because they are jovial, caring and can keep a secret.


In order for Greens to feel good about themselves, they have to be helping someone or something. Nurturers by choice, they are the ones who take care of other people, animals and plants.




People, trust me. I am really a green person. :) So, if you are agree with this, please tell me all of your secrets. I am so honoured to keep everything faithfully. Hahaha. And I am a good counselor too, remember? Hahaha.


Wait. I am supposed to be serious. 

urgent

I have an ISSUE. A big one.


I have not been talking to ALLAH as much as I used to. And I just feel so distant from HIM. I think this blase kind of relationship has run for so long (2 months? 3 months? 5 months? I don't know) without me noticing about it.


I know that I have not, and I know I have to do something about it. But I am just always so caught up with doing everything else -- you name it. Yeah, this is just another excuse. I know.


When I do actually make time, I just feel like I have not been talking to HIM for so long that I cannot remember how to anymore. I feel like I am telling HIM things HE already knows. I have so many things to ask for but I feel so shallow asking for them.


When I pray for others, sometimes, I feel so ... fake. I mean, there are so many people who need to be prayed for. But I feel like my needs are greater as compared to theirs. So, why bother praying for others when the person I should focus on is my own self? 


WhathaveIdone? :(


I want HIM to be the center of my focus. HE is the first to whom I go to when I have problems, the first to whom I call in excitement upon good news. HE is there watching over me, so I want to believe I have nothing or no one to fear.


But I do not know how to anymore. And I feel so lost at the moment.


I prefer not to tell this personally in any conversation so I do not break down and cry in front of anyone.


=.='

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When you are tired and emotionally unstable, you tend to get sensitive over little things, don't you?

So.

Sit down straight. 

Cross your legs tight. 

Chin's up. 

Close your eyes. 

Breathe deep. 

Leave your mind empty. 

And wake up fresh.

Self reminder :


Every time when you try all the way to be near to ALLAH, and when you just started to feel calm, HE will always test you if you could still hold onto HIM. This is where your faithfulness is hardly challenged. Just keep on track, aisyah. Keep on your track! HE will guide you.


KEEP BELIEVING. KEEP PRAYING.